Monday, January 31, 2011

How would you like your rat toasted Mam?

I did the unthinkable a few days ago. I was quite traumatized by the event in fact.
I toasted a rat.

My husband and I discovered a couple of weeks ago that we were hosting some unwanted guests in the form of rats. It started with one large one which had figured out how to use the dog flap and was making him or herself rather warm and cosy under our kitchen cupboards, but soon it invited all its family and friends. The cheeky buggers were quite happily flaunting themselves all over the kitchen, every time I walked in I would spot one disappear. We had to make sure no food was left lying around and pondered what to do.

Being an animal lover, I do things like rescue ants out of the bath and sink before I use them. Ask me about the mouse episode a few years back when I devised a special trap to catch it unharmed, which eventually worked and allowed me to drive it to a nearby veldt and let it go. A bit weird but then again eccentricity is my middle name! Weigh all this against how bad it is to have possibly disease infested rats wandering around and you can see my dilemma.
Having a child does change one’s priorities rather dramatically however, so in the case of Rats vs. Steffanos – the rats lost. Now we just had to find the best way to proceed with extermination.

Toasting them one by one wasn’t really the way to go, but one afternoon I popped some bread in the toaster, as you do, and it wasn’t long before I heard awful squealing coming from the toaster’s vicinity. I cautiously looked inside and saw a small rat struggling to get out, but it was stuck and was being burned alive! Oh boy! I switched the toaster off and tried to figure out a way to get the rat out, silly really because it was probably not going to be in a good way, but luckily for me it died before I could make a plan.
Oh the trauma! The revulsion – put me off my toast – off food in fact.
There was no option but to throw the entire toaster, toast and rat included, into the dustbin.
I don't know what felt worse - the thought that I had tortured a poor little creature to death or that there was a disgusting rat inside my toaster - where I make toast - that I eat.

Anyway, now we have a shiny new toaster, which actually makes better, more evenly toasted toast than the old one. I now check it first before I put any bread in and clean it out diligently after use. As for the rat problem – well we bought something called a Rat Zapper on Friday, which electrocutes them into oblivion – no mess, no fuss.
Zapped five of ‘em last night – works like a charm!
Including my toasted friend that is a grand total of six.

I am so looking forward to having my kitchen back – as for my guilt for murdering small creatures – well I try not to think about it and leave the technicalities to my husband Leo, who delightfully announced each kill as it happened last night. Must be a guy thing!


  1. Nice read Karen :-), glad you got rid of 'em, good to have your blog back!

  2. Ek het jou skrywe vreeslik geniet,kon myself indik wat jou gesigsuitdrukking was toe jy die muis in jou toaster sien. Oor 20 jaar sal dit steeds iets weet waaroor jy lag. Eks trots op jou dat jy so braaf is hoor.
    Mooi bly